Wednesday, January 25, 2012
These past few days have been so hard on me. I have cried more than I have cried about any of this in the past 3 years. Reality has set in that I will never be 'normal' and I will deal with this for the rest of my life. There is NO CURE! There is a long list of things I will never be able to do....like ride a rollar coaster, go sky diving (not that I would, but still). It hurts!! Now being a senior I realize how much I have missed out on. I realized that if I would have felt better maybe I would have wanted to go to the friday night football games, winter formal, prom and be more involved, but I wanted to do what I had to do, nothing more and nothing less. Seeing my sister get to do everything I did not, really makes me sad. I am so HAPPY she gets to do it, but I wish I had felt like doing it too. I realize I dont get a second chance and this should be the time I am having a blast, but instead I am in and out of doctors offices and hospitals. I realize it could be so much worse, but it is hard to compare situations because everyones situation is BAD TO THEM. Everything seems to be gettting to me latley. It is hard there is no doubt and I think I am finally getting at peace with this and realizing all of the things I STILL CAN DO! I wish this on no one, not even my worst enemy and blame no one for me having it. It is what it is and I hope with my experience, I can help save someone from suffering as much as I did.
Thanks for the support!